Who whacked Bigbird?

When I was a child, my mom used to warn me about drinking chocolate milk. Apparently, whenever someone in her family would drink chocolate milk, they would get a nose bleed. Therefore, whenever we ate at a restaurant, I had to get white milk, lest I get a nose bleed. Even at the age of four, I thought that her fear was ridiculous. Why would chocolate milk give me a nose bleed? It did not make sense to me then, and it does not make sense to me now.

Anyways. When I was young, I went to my aunts' houses for individual weeks at a time. They lived in Altoona, so I did not get to see them often. When I was there, they enjoyed spoiling me (who doesn't?). One time in particular, I was four years old, and I was spending the week at my aunt Jackie's house. One of my other aunts, Jeanie (Meme), owned a restaurant called Chilcoats (man I hope I spelled that right). My aunt Jackie decided to take us to Chilcoats for dinner. My mom was not there, so of course I ordered chocolate milk with my meal. Aunt Jackie thought nothing of it. It was so good. The brown concoction bubbled as I blew through the straw. It was the most indulgent experience I had experienced up until that point in my life.

Later that night, it was bedtime. I clutched hard onto my stuffed Bigbird who was my companion through all my nights. I fell asleep.

When I woke up, I was confused if I was dreaming, or really seeing what I was seeing. Bigbird's throat was covered in blood. In fact, his whole body was stained with blood. As I looked around, the area all around me was covered in blood. I thought that someone killed Bigbird! I was so scared.

My mom picked me up that morning. I told her what happened, and she gave me a haughty eye. She asked me, "Did you drink chocolate milk?" I tucked my head in my chest, for I knew I had been defeated.

Momma's got a lot of wisdom that you should listen to. You may not understand why she tells you not to do things, but in the end, it does not matter. Momma knows best. Obey her, or you might wake up thinking, "Who whacked Bigbird?"